Save $10 on your next order of $60+ WITH CODE: FALL10. FREE SHIPPING ON U.S. ORDERS OVER $50

Stop the Self-Sabotage

Stop the Self-Sabotage

Use these techniques to reprogram your neural brain circuitry for success.

New year or not, making a goal and seeing it through is tricky business, and in some instances, you are your own worst enemy when it comes to success.  

“When your unconscious patterns hold you back from having an appropriate emotional response, you sabotage your own success,” says Rock Thomas, motivational speaker and author of The Power of Your Identity: The Secret to Creating Lasting Change (AuthorHouse, 2006). “This leads to a disempowered state and results in a decision that does not take you closer to your desires
or goals.”

According to Thomas, success is an inside job, and your internal dialogue has a lot to do with your circumstances. “Essentially, thoughts become things,” Thomas says. “Most people think about what they don’t want, and therefore that’s exactly what they attract into their lives.”

Don’t despair, though — you can retrain your brain for the better with these tips from Thomas.

Deprogram your daily life. 

Most of the time, you’re reacting to programming from your past when faced with a situation, so the key to happiness is rejigging those poor thoughts into rich thoughts. For example, perhaps people told you that you were too skinny or too fat as a kid. Today, instead of saying “I hate my body,” say “I am grateful for my health and am unique just as I am.”

New you review. 

Ask someone you trust for his or her best memory of you and how that person remembers you at your best. It’s valuable to see yourself through someone else’s less-critical eyes, especially in moments of self-doubt.

Pinpoint a pattern. 

Sabotage is usually because of an unconscious pattern that you developed while growing up. Likely someone hurt you or you had a profound experience that now triggers you emotionally. “For instance, my brother would not let me ride his motorcycle, yet he taunted me daily that he would,” Thomas says. “Until I realized this pattern, I would often refuse the offerings of others due to the unconscious fear of them not being given.” Pay attention to the things you say to yourself. If you hear yourself saying something negative or self-defeating, choose in that moment to replace it with a positive thought. Over time, you’ll train your brain to turn negatives into positives automatically.

Practice daily meditation. 

The first step to change is awareness, and carving out 10 minutes each day for meditation is great for slowing down your mind’s chatter. Once you’re able to focus, the answers to your questions and the solutions to your problems will often come more easily.

Stop blaming your parents. 

Likely your parents downloaded their own programming onto you, albeit unconsciously, so blame them all you want for your issues, but ultimately you have to take responsibility for your life as it is today. Once you’ve claimed ownership, then break the cycle so it does not continue with your own children. “My father never played ball with me, and it hurt my feelings,” Thomas says. “So I decided to become the coach of my son’s soccer team.”

Watch your words. 

The words that follow the phrase “I am …” are powerful, so avoid saying things like “I am a loser” or “I am unworthy.” Instead, each morning and evening, say things that excite and empower you versus things that hold you back. “Speak yourself into your potential, otherwise you will keep living a self-fulfilling prophecy that leads to negativity,” Thomas says.

Written by Jill Schildhouse for Oxygen Magazine and legally licensed through the Matcha publisher network. Please direct all licensing questions to legal@getmatcha.com.






Also in Light Reading

Which HappyLight is right for you?
Which HappyLight is right for you?

2021 is here, and like the rest of us, you're no doubt staying safe indoors social distancing, but that means you're probably missing out on critical vitamin D like never before. At Verilux we know a thing or two about using artificial light to help get you back on track by choosing the right lamp from our line of HappyLights®. Learn how light therapy can help you start feeling better and sleeping soundly to go from sad to happy. 

View full article →

Woman reading ebook
Self-Care Tips For Isolation During The Holidays

By now it’s clear: We’re going to remain isolated (at least somewhat) through the holiday season. Isolation may be the “new normal,” but to most of us it will never actually feel normal (or comfortable). And it may be particularly trying during the holidays, when we're used to spending more time with friends and family. If you could use a little bit of a boost though, or some help with self-care during the strange holiday season to come, read on for a few helpful tips!

View full article →

Tips For Going Back to School Remotely
Tips For Going Back to School Remotely

This year has been a bit strange. OK, maybe a lot strange.. and going back to school doesn't necessarily mean the same thing this fall. So, while having a great set up at home for studying was important before, it's even more so now. Here are a few things that won't break the bank, but are definitely worth getting to make your study space the best space.

View full article →